The Unmighty Don

His Kingdom for Greenland – or: How, when he fails so spectacularly at both domestic and foreign policy, the only thing left for Trump to look strong against… is feeble Europe.

Oh, the sheer terror rippling through Europe’s elite corridors at the mere mention of Donald Trump – whose “strength” has evaporated faster than his spray tan under scrutiny.

Why the quivering knees when Trump’s has never been so weak? Simple: European leaders are the ultimate house slaves, elevated by their American overlord to the lofty status of butlers and maids, and they’ll grovel through hell to maintain that slim edge over the field hands. Picture it – two uniforms a year, a pair of shoes if they’re lucky, scraps from the master’s table in the servants’ quarters. Anything to avoid toiling in the dirt with the rest. Dust off Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained and watch the house slaves simper and scheme. Sound familiar, Brussels?

It’s precisely because Trump is weak that he fixates on bashing Europe like a schoolyard bully picking on the nerdy kid who won’t fight back. He can’t land a punch on China without bruising his own tariffs, Russia treats him like a punchline, and the Middle East? Forget it – his “deals” there crumbled faster than a sandcastle at high tide. No, Europe’s the soft target, the perpetual doormat.

And let’s not kid ourselves: this latest tantrum is pure domestic theater, timed for those midterm elections where his party’s clinging to relevance like a bad toupee in a windstorm. So, hit him where it hurts – right in the heart of U.S. politics.

Trump’s drooling over Greenland again? Fine, let’s reply with a counteroffer that’ll make his head spin: a “TREMENDOUS DEAL, THE GREATEST DEAL EVER!” Hand back Florida to France – you know, where the French first planted their flag at Fort Caroline (now Jacksonville) way back in 1564. Toss in Louisiana for good measure, territories that rightfully belong to her anyway after that shady Louisiana Purchase hustle. And if Trump plays nice? Maybe – just maybe – he can hang onto Mar-a-Lago, but only if he slaps a new name on it: “People’s House.” And turn that gaudy eyesore into a public golf course, open to all the “forgotten” folks he pretends to champion. No more exclusive schmoozing with oligarchs; time for the masses to tee off on his precious lawns.

And speaking of unhinged rants, in a letter to Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre, Trump brazenly declares he’s ditching any pretense of peace – all because he got snubbed for the Nobel Prize he thinks he deserves for “stopping 8 wars PLUS.”

In plain English, Donald Trump’s entire rationale for trying to annex Greenland boils down to this: They didn’t give him the Nobel Peace Prize like they did to Barack Obama. That’s the profound depth of strategic thinking rattling around in the skull of the so-called leader of the free world – a man whose ego is apparently so fragile that a Norwegian committee’s passing him ovre justifies redrawing maps and bullying allies. Here we have a president reduced to playground logic: “You didn’t give me the shiny trophy, so now I’m taking your toy island.” Grow up.

And that fever-dream claim about China and Russia salivating over the vast Arctic isle? Pure, unadulterated fantasy – the kind of paranoid drivel that only emerges from a bunker mentality marinated in Fox News reruns. Reality check: It’s actually in Beijing and Moscow’s best interest for Greenland to stay tethered to a lightweight like Denmark. Why? Because that setup ensures a cozy veil of neutrality, keeping the big boys’ hands clean while they play their games elsewhere.

As for what Trump’s actually done for NATO? We’re squinting hard, folks, but it’s a blur of bluster – more photo ops than fortifications, more tariffs than troops.

We’ve been calling it since those disastrous Iran strikes back in June 2025: Trump torpedoed his own presidency. We put it bluntly then.

Driven by unbridled narcissism, Donald Trump has acted both against reason and the best interests of the United States, heedless of the historical legacy he will leave behind. Beyond the grave geostrategic and military ramifications of his impulsive decision, he has, at the very outset, dismantled the coalition that propelled him to victory and secured the GOP’s control of both houses of Congress. His presidency may effectively be over, regardless of how many PAC he launches to primary out recalcitrant republicain lawmakers like Thomas Massie. In a stunning turn, he has accomplished what the deep state could not achieve in over 10 years of relentless effort. He is now a lame duck, relegated to petulantly venting his frustrations on Truth Social. For the remainder of his term, MAGA may well come to mean "Make America Golf Again."

[Republication] MAGA, Make America Golf Again

With his pigheaded refusal to cough up the full Epstein dossier – you know, the one dripping with elite sleaze that could actually deliver on those “drain the swamp” promises – and those military escapades nobody in America signed up for, Donald Trump has finally torched the trust from his own supporters.

Let’s be crystal clear: These folks didn’t flock to Trump because they were starstruck by his golden escalator charisma. They voted for the guy as a bid for sanity – a reset button after Obama’s two terms of unhinged globalism and Biden’s interlude of senility. Sure, Joe was a doddering ghost in the machine, but his administration? A well-oiled beast that got things done, flaws and all. Trump’s crew? It’s an unholy mess – pardon our French, but we’re calling it like it is: a clusterfuck of incompetence, infighting, and ego-stroking that makes the Keystone Kops look like Navy SEALs.

Boil it down to the brutal basics, and the global scorecard is a humiliating rout: Israel’s got Trump on a leash, yanking him around like a bewildered poodle at a dog show. Beijing? Not yielding an inch – they’re stonewalling his every bluff with the calm assurance of a Go grandmaster facing a toddler. The Gulf monarchies? They’re brushing him off like lint on a silk robe, sending him scampering back to his 15-yard line. And Iran? Delivering a massive middle finger, complete with a fresh, stinging smackdown to Israel that leaves Netanyahu’s war machine sputtering in the dust.

Even in Latin America – Washington’s supposed backyard playground – Trump’s regime-change show in Venezuela has devolved into farce. The Bolivarians are still hunkered down in power, and no one’s budging them anytime soon. Every major U.S. oil giant gave Trump a resounding “hell no” when he asked them to pour tens of billions into the mess. Result? He doesn’t control a drop of Venezuelan crude – just another empty boast in a presidency that for a year is built on hot air and shattered illusions. The “art of the deal” is looking more like the art of the debacle so far.

Operation Absolute Dissolve

On the home front, things are every bit as disastrous. We’ll gloss over the near-insurrection brewing in Minnesota, where tensions are boiling over into outright anarchy, because frankly, that’s just the tip of the iceberg in this administration’s self-inflicted mess.

Let’s talk about the podcasters – those unfiltered truth-bomb droppers who handed Trump his election on a silver platter. They’re the ones who ripped the veil off the Biden administration’s rot, the Democratic Party’s swampy underbelly, and the blatant Kamala Harris con job that the mainstream medias flat-out refused to touch. Without them, Trump would still be rage-tweeting from exile.

Now, these same podcasters are unloading with both barrels, savaging the White House’s policies as the absurd, violent, dead-end train wrecks they truly are. And when Joe Rogan – the king of no-holds-barred commentary – starts labeling ICE as the modern-day Gestapo, it’s high time to perk up those ears and seriously question whether a purge is overdue in the White House. Start with Stephen Miller, that all-powerful deputy chief of staff who’s turned immigration enforcement into a dystopian mess. Fire him, and half the zealots with him, before their delusions drag the whole country into the abyss. Trump’s base didn’t vote for this – they wanted a return to sanity, to normalcy.

Even those who weren’t exactly hostile to the current tenant in the White House are now howling for his head. Take Larry Johnson, the ex-CIA analyst who’s publicly demanding that Trump be yanked from office under Section 4 of the 25th Amendment, citing his blatant incapacity to handle the job without turning it into a three-ring circus of chaos.

The Time Has Come to Take the Car Keys from Donald Trump